This week at work, I picked up an old issue of Marie Claire magazine, and by what must have been muscle memory, I flipped to the back page. The top of the page read, “April 2015 Horoscopes.” Under that was a short blurb that said, “‘Anything is possible’ should be your mantra, Aries” with a picture of a woman standing on the seats of an antique convertible and reaching for the sky…in the middle of the desert. Okay.
My eyes wandered down the page and settled on the unassuming subheading ‘Libra.’ This was months ago, I told myself. No pressure.
It read: “The mood: Perceptive. There may be an invisible hand on your shoulder, guiding you quietly. Still, take the lead rather than allowing others to influence you. You might not understand what seems like a complex situation, though the picture will crystallize soon enough. Listen carefully and you’ll decipher people’s motives. Power day: April 15.” Hmmmmm…
The thing is, I’ve never taken my horoscope seriously. But in high school (when I actually read real magazines–the ones that you actually hold in your hands, the ones where you literally turn crispy pages, the ones that have that glossy-paper smell–remember those?), I read it religiously. Out of habit, I’d read any magazine I got my hands on back-to-front, starting with the horoscopes. I’d read mine first, and then scan through the ones that I knew belonged to family and close friends: Leo, Gemini, Scorpio, Aquarius. It was pure entertainment for me, but my 16-year-old brain couldn’t help but wonder occasionally: What does it all mean?
Fast forward many years and–whether you think it’s all bull shit, genius, or ‘just for fun’ (like me)–horoscopes are hard not to read, don’t you think? Here’s a snippet of Libra’s horoscope for January 2016 from Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone, which a fun and popular site for all things related to horoscopes:
“Tip-toe into January, dear Libra. It will be a quiet month, for Mercury, the planet of communication and commerce, will be retrograde in Capricorn from January 5 to 25. It will be hard to get answers back from influential clients and bosses on proposals, and overall, key decision makers will be frustratingly hard to reach or indecisive if you do (true!). The message of the universe will be to think back to past activities you have been doing or finished and see if you can find ways to improve what you have already done. It’s also a good time to review the methods and approaches you always apply to tasks to see if you have a better way you might try in the future…” (Read the full thing, here.)
Do you ready your horoscope? Did you in high school? What’s your sign?
I don’t read them very often but when I read them and they make sense with what’s going on in my life then I think they’re fun. When they don’t make sense then I think they’re dumb………. Leo is King
I just read mine and it says that I have lofty weight loss goals for the month of January. Did my horoscope just call me fat? This would be one that I would file under the dumb category. Although, if you look at the kings of our past you’ll find that most of them were a little soggy around the mid area…. A king is a king is a king…. Overweight Leo is still king.
Life motto: “Overweight Leo is still King.” ; )